1)This site contains adult-related material. If you are under 18 years of age or if it is illegal to view adult material in your jurisdiction, please leave now. Move safely and swiftly toward the nearest exit, and have a wonderful day!      
2) Legal mumbo-jumbo: By entering this website, you agree that you are choosing to receive the information on this website. By entering, you agree that provocatively written words and racy photos do not offend you.   You understand and accept responsibility for your own actions, thus releasing the website owner, the website builder software, its staff, affiliates and advertisers from all legal liability. These web pages are not intended to be viewed by minors. NO sexual activities are implied or condoned by the creator(s) of this web site. This site does not promote prostitution nor is this page or any content therein an offer for prostitution. Money exchanged is for companionship and time only. Anything beyond that is a choice made between two consenting adults and not contracted for by the site or its creator(s). Got it? Great!
3) By entering, you also agree that you are not a crazy religious zealot, striving to send multiple poorly composed e-mails to "save my soul". If you must do this, at least have the common decency to incorporate proper grammar and punctuation!
4) You're not a tacky and unimaginative creep who has come to plagiarize any part of my website. 

Great! Now, proceed!